The great thing about traditions is that you can always start new one. Human beings are creatures of habit and we go about our lives daily in a sort of a flow that works for us and before we know it we have started a practice that will become a part of who we are.
The inspiration for this post came from one of my previous posts titled ‘Honouring… my lifestyle!’. For a very long time I had no relationship with my wife’s parents because of some things that happened (I might share more about that in another blog post in the future). When my wife wanted to visit her parents I would just drop her and the kids off and when they were ready to come home she would call me and I’ll fetch them again. This continued for a long time and it was harmfully affecting our marriage but I was too headstrong to attempt to change the status quo. During all this time I was putting up this facade acting like I didn’t need them but the reality was something was missing in my life.
When I came to know The Lord Jesus Christ as my personal saviour I was discipled and mentored and the one teaching that came through strongly all the time was the whole thing about honouring. The Apostle Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians in Chapter 6: 2 – 3 : “Honour your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth. This scripture spoke volumes to me and every time I took the wife and kids to visit her parents, it was as if a battle was raging inside of me. I knew as a child I had to go to my in-laws and apologise for everything I did but the pride was getting in the way and also the thought of making myself vulnerable and open to rejection was something I had to deal with.
On 23 June 2009 I finally got to the point where I made the decision to go and make things right with my in-laws and us celebrating father’s day two days prior to that did also play a major role in me finally taking the decision that would ultimately affect the rest of my life. My wife Shameez made the appointment on my behalf and as the time grew nearer I could feel in my spirit that something big was going to happen. I went and did what I had to do as a child, a husband and as a father, I took the bold step of obedience and made myself vulnerable and the Lord was true to his word that He will never need us nor will He forsake us. The much dreaded meeting (from my side) went down very well, by the end of the meeting we hugged and I was welcomed into the family as a son and as they say the rest was history.
To answer the question above, yes we can start new traditions. My family and I now have a new tradition, every Thursday we go to my parents home (don’t refer to them as my in-laws any more) to have supper with them. We look forward to this every week and come what may we are not going to miss supper at my parent’s home! This is one of the highlights of our week and it is such a joyous occasion for us as a family unit. This is a tradition I’m going to hold onto and cherish as long as it lasts.
I trust this post has sparked something for you and prompted you deal with your unresolved issues. Please leave a comment and share the traditions you have that you hold close to your heart. God bless.